With our countdown to hubby's deployment date now in single digits, I am pretty much freaking out.
I may look calm, sitting here licking my ice cream cone (today's craving) while I type one-handed......but on the inside I am so stressed about everything! I'm not READY! I expected to have so many things done by now.....I know the baby won't even BE here for 5 more months, but I really wanted hubby to be invloved in some of the baby prep stuff......like painting the nursery, assembling the crib, you know, all the FUN stuff. (the stuff Mommies tell Daddies is 'fun' so they will help us)
I did pick up paint chips yesterday to find the exact right wall color, but there is simply NO WAY hubby will have a chance to do anything with this before he leaves. I know his sister loves to paint rooms, and has already agreed to come and help me with the nursery, but I am bummed that hubby won't see the magical transformation I am envisioning in the nursery. Sure, he will see the final result, but its just not the same.
So why am I even wasting time worrying about this, when there is obviously NOTHING I can do about it?
Because it takes my mind off the bigger worries. This particular stress is sort of a vacation for my mind.
There are just SO MANY things we haven't had time to do, and now I am frantically budgeting time trying to prioritize what really MUST be done before this baby's daddy leaves. Might be easier if he and I could agree on some of these things, but at the moment our priorities appear to be very different. For instance, in his world, sleep is not optional. In mine, sleep is an absolute luxury, which I have not been able to get much of lately.
But the sleep thing is my own fault, as I am choosing to stress over little stuff (guaranteed to keep you awake, no matter how tired you are!)
I know, I really do need to knock it off. Not good for the baby and all that.
Hence the ice cream cone.
Trying to just RELAX.
And let go of all the 'plans' that must now be scrapped because we are OUT OF TIME.