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Friday, September 10, 2010

Patience is a virtue (that I do not possess)

Waiting really is NOT fun.  In fact, it SUCKS.  Especially for someone like me.

I know it's technically early for me to be THIS impatient for Baby Bobblehead's arrival, but the nearly constant contractions really don't help.  And the doctor's estimate on Bobblehead's size didn't do much to bolster my patience yesterday - so yeah, at 38 weeks, I am SO READY to have this baby!  Like, NOW!

Last Saturday I finally went out and bought a nursing bra - the one thing that was technically missing from my labor bag.  I will admit that a part of me secretly HOPED that this one last thing was what Bobblehead was 'waiting' for, and he would decide to make his arrival at that point.  When my contractions became very regular and far more painful Sunday night, I was more excited than worried - at 37 weeks, the chances of something going wrong with the baby were so slim. 

But alas, my cervix was not responding at all to the contractions, so I was sent home from the hospital to WAIT some more. (have I mentioned that I am not very good at waiting?)

The false alarm last Sunday did get hubby and I to finally make some decisions that we had been putting off; among other things, we rushed to enroll in a Cord Blood Banking program.  The company we chose rushed the 'collection kit' to me, and it arrived here on Wednesday.  If I had gone into labor and did not have the kit with me, we would have lost the option to store the baby's cord blood.

So naturally, in my impatient head, I started thinking, 'maybe THIS is what Bobblehead was waiting for'.....and I began to silently WILL him to come out.  That night was my monthly Bunco night, so I went to my girlfriend's house to play Bunco and socialize.  I had a lot of good contractions, visited with friends, won some money (WOO HOO!)  and came home actively timing the increasingly painful contractions - only to notice that they were becoming more sporadic and less intense as the night wore on.

Yes, I was sad.  Even though I won money, I didn't feel very lucky when I went to bed STILL PREGNANT.

I woke up Thursday morning excited to go to my 38 week checkup, knowing that I would at least get to SEE Bobblehead on a sonogram.  I even looked forward to the pelvic exam, hoping for good news about my cervix progressing throughout the week, since the contractions this week have been so much more painful than the previous ones.  I also hoped, at least a little bit, that the pelvic exam at the checkup might 'stir things up' and get real labor going.  I knew the doc was not going to specifically strip the membranes, but I still hoped......maybe....

But no.   No progress, and no new patterns or intensity in the contractions.

I left the doctor's office feeling incredibly discouraged, but went to the mall, determined to walk and at least get some exercise, and maybe move things along a little.  While there, I finally found a diaper bag that I liked AND could afford - after searching for weeks.  I have found several bags that I LOVE, but they were all way out of my budget.  Naturally, I jumped at the chance to finally buy a diaper bag, and proudly brought it home.

Yes, in the back of my mind, I was thinking the usual, 'maybe THIS is what the baby was waiting for'.....

And hours later, as I worked my afternoon crossing guard shift, I had several PAINFUL contractions, only 5 minutes apart.  I knew better than to get my hopes up, but still....I obviously DID, or I would not have felt so darned disappointed when the contractions stopped, almost as soon as I sat down and put my feet up. Bummer.

Last night I barely slept, because the random contractions kept waking me up.  Yes, I said they were random.  *sigh*  I had also developed a nasty headache, which was so strong it actually made me forget about some of the contractions.  Tylenol didn't help, so I was basically miserable all night.

I woke up this morning, reported for my crossing guard duty, and did not even bother timing my contractions while there.  I then went to meet my sister at the mall, so I could help watch her boys while she tried on nursing bras (this is the sister who was originally going to be my labor coach, until she turned up pregnant with her 3rd baby, and was found to be due a week and a half ahead of me - she had her baby last week, which honestly is probably contributing at least a little bit to my impatience).  I walked the length of the mall a few times, and felt some good contractions, and enjoyed my adorable nephews for awhile.  I decided a nap was in order before returning to the school for my FINAL crossing guard shift (now I am officially on maternity leave) but again could not sleep because of the contractions.


In case you still don't understand my impatience, let me give you the short version:

This whole pregnancy I have basically felt GREAT!  Minimal morningsickness, minimal back pain, and I even got some sleep in the first two trimesters. But in the past two weeks, the baby has dropped ONTO A NERVE, limiting my sitting positions to the semi-reclined and fully-reclined options.  Reclining all the time has increased the frequency and severity of my heartburn, making it nearly unbearable.  At the same time, my nearly constant contractions have become painful (rather than just uncomfortable).  As a result of all of this, I am just not sleeping.  Also new in these final weeks: swelling feet.  Yay.




More contractions.

Pelvic Pain/numb feet.

More heartburn.

Fat feet and 'Kankles'

Increased fatigue....

Are you seeing how the cycle works?

So, yeah, I am so DONE being pregnant!  I'm OVER this, really.

Oh, and on top of all that, seeing my sweet newborn nephew makes me really really REALLY long to hold my Bobblehead.  Just look at this face:

I'm now scheduled for induction late next Thursday night/early Friday morning, so I have a week (at most) to wait. 

But considering the ups and downs of this past week, I don't know how I can make it through another WHOLE week.

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