mil-spouse blog hop BIO

Thanks so much to http://militaryspouserollercoasterride.blogspot.com/ for hosting this MIL SPOUSE BLOG HOP!


If you have found me through this blog hop, thanks so much for stopping by - I hope you enjoy my writings, and if you decide to follow me, please feel free to leave a comment here with your blog address so I can follow you back.

**I accidentally entered THIS blog url into my linky instead of my deployment (again) blog - so I am copying this bio from my other blog.**

So, a little about me:

I have been with my Marine for over 13 years, married for almost eight years. We have only a few precious days left together before he leaves for his third deployment (this time to Afghanistan).


We have one child together, age 10, and we are expecting another in September 2010. I also have two older children, ages 15 and 19.


I love to write/blog, and enjoy baking and crafting - especially cardmaking and scrapbooking. I hate housework, particularly the 'endless' chores like dishes and laundry.


A few years ago we bought our first house, and I LOVE IT! I want to do more to customize it, but of course money is always tight, especially since I lost my Preschool Director job a year ago. Hubby's unit is actually over an hour away from our home, and the commute can take up to 3 hours with traffic - so I am REALLY grateful that he is normally only required to make that particular trip once a month for drill. Active duty and workups, though - WHOLE different story.

I come from a large family, am the fifth of eight children. All of my siblings are married and have kids, so the baby I am carrying will be my parents' 25th grandchild. Unless I have him a few weeks early, in which case my sister's baby will be number 25, mine would then be number 24! I love having my sister live close enough to see her at least once a week or so, and its awesome to be pregnant at the same time.


Please feel free to read my other blog, Deployment (again)

best laid plans....

With our countdown to hubby's deployment date now in single digits, I am pretty much freaking out. 

I may look calm, sitting here licking my ice cream cone (today's craving) while I type one-handed......but on the inside I am so stressed about everything!  I'm not READY!  I expected to have so many things done by now.....I know the baby won't even BE here for 5 more months, but I really wanted hubby to be invloved in some of the baby prep stuff......like painting the nursery, assembling the crib, you know, all the FUN stuff. (the stuff Mommies tell Daddies is 'fun' so they will help us)

I did pick up paint chips yesterday to find the exact right wall color, but there is simply NO WAY hubby will have a chance to do anything with this before he leaves.  I know his sister loves to paint rooms, and has already agreed to come and help me with the nursery, but I am bummed that hubby won't see the magical transformation I am envisioning in the nursery.  Sure, he will see the final result, but its just not the same.

So why am I even wasting time worrying about this, when there is obviously NOTHING I can do about it?

Because it takes my mind off the bigger worries.  This particular stress is sort of a vacation for my mind.

There are just SO MANY things we haven't had time to do, and now I am frantically budgeting time trying to prioritize what really MUST be done before this baby's daddy leaves.  Might be easier if he and I could agree on some of these things, but at the moment our priorities appear to be very different.  For instance, in his world, sleep is not optional.  In mine, sleep is an absolute luxury, which I have not been able to get much of lately.

But the sleep thing is my own fault, as I am choosing to stress over little stuff (guaranteed to keep you awake, no matter how tired you are!)

I know, I really do need to knock it off.  Not good for the baby and all that.

Hence the ice cream cone.

Trying to just RELAX.

And let go of all the 'plans' that must now be scrapped because we are OUT OF TIME.

lick. lick.

*sigh*

17 weeks and counting

Yesterday I had my 17 week checkup.  Two great things about this one: my hubby was able to come with me for this appointment, AND all my test results came back NORMAL!  The screenings for Down's Syndrome showed a 1 in 63,000 risk (instead of the 1 in 100 risk I thought we were facing). 

Oh, and even MORE good news, I don't have to put up with more blood tests until week 24!  Of course, at that point, in addition to the dreaded needle, I will also have to endure that nasty glucose drink, on an empty stomach.....and wait at the oh-so-fun lab for a full hour between chugging that crap and offering my weak veins up to the vampires.  But I have like 7 full weeks to psych myself up for it!  I can totally DO this.

Baby Thomas' heart rate is normal (161 yesterday) and my blood pressure and weight are also fine - I'm holding at 4 lbs UNDER my weight from my first prenatal appointment. 

All in all, this week is a good week, pregnancy-wise.  I'm healthy and my baby-bump is growing.  Pictures coming SOON, I promise.

STRESS

OK so I did not post here yesterday, and don't have much to say today that I didn't already say in my other blog, http://www.anotherdeployment.blogspot.com/

All I can say is I know that all this stress is NOT good for the baby.

:(

I'm going to go to bed and pretend I've just had a glass of wine to relax.

BABY GEAR QUESTION

I had a Baby Sling (by NoJo) for my last two babies, and I LOVED it!  My boys always wanted to be held, and this was so much easier than the buckle/strap-on-carriers (like a Baby Bjorn, etc).

So, now I am looking for a sling for this baby, but I wonder if I am just being too picky?

The first parameter that my sling MUST meet is that it has to 'fit' me.....I've mentioned in previous posts that I am 100 lbs overweight (Size 22-24 in women's clothing right now, and its NOT because of my baby-bump).  So far I am finding slings that are 'One Size Fits Most" (Like the Balboa Sling by Dr. Sears) and I am definitely not sized like 'MOST' people. -OR- I am finding slings designed for different sized parents, (XL, XXL, etc) but they are not adjustable.

So, does anyone know where I can find a PLUS-SIZE, ADJUSTABLE baby sling?
I would like for my husband to be able to use this, too - so adjustable will help with that - and I used the sling in different positions for my other boys, for about 2 years with each!

I know there has been a recent 'recall/warning' regarding these slings, but I know how to use it safely and I really really WANT one!

Am I going to have to buy a custom sling?

no pepper, please!

I peed my pants laughing today.

I also peed my pants playing basketball with my son last week - and jumping up to grab the phone when it rang the other day.

It's a pregnancy thing.

But the worst times, really, are when I SNEEZE.  Even if I *JUST* went to the bathroom, I can still somehow wet myself every time I sneeze!  I did not have this problem with my first 3 pregnancies, but I was of course MUCH younger then.

So, in addition to all the smells I am suddenly VERY sensitive to, I find that pepper is my enemy.  And my laundry's enemy.  I can't even COOK with pepper now!

So, please, HOLD the pepper, because I can't hold my bladder any more.

I'm going to go do some Kegel exercises while I watch a little T.V.

Magic tricks.....

I can't pull a rabbit out of a hat, but I can make this disappear:

Who knew?  I am multi-talented! 

Apparently this baby likes desserts containing fruit, because those are the only sweets I have been craving (well, I was really craving cheesecake for awhile, but that's because I need more CALCIUM, right?)

I can't believe I am not gaining weight eating like this.

mood swings and tears

WOW.

Have you seen that really sweet AT&T commercial, the one with the flashback montage?  It shows a couple watching proudly as their son is being sworn in as the President of the U.S. and then it flashes back to scenes from the boy's childhood, then mommy's baby belly, then flashes all the way back to when the couple first met at a subway station, with the assistance of an AT&T phone - then it says something cheesy like "Because any moment could be THE moment".

Yup, I cried when I saw that commercial last night.

This is my fourth pregnancy, and I have also struggled with clinical depression for almost a decade now, and I have NEVER had such crazy mood swings!  I've never been this hormonal/emotional in my life.

I just keep stopping and shaking my head, thinking, "I can't believe I cried about THAT!"  or even, "how could I laugh at THAT?!"

I am not yet even 16 weeks along - does this mean I have 24 more weeks of this nonsense?  YIKES.

something old, something new?

Today was a long and frustrating day.  I had to get blood drawn for the 2nd trimester prenatal screening, and I HATE needles.  The lab was ridiculously crowded when I got there, but at least the line moved pretty quickly.  Not that I was really in a hurry to get to my turn - have I mentioned that I HATE needles? *sigh* I sucked it up and didn't even cry (well, not REALLY) and when I left I was on a mission....

Yesterday I finally found the bedding set I want for baby's room, and I added it to my baby registry via the store's website.  I decided to go buy a window valance that goes with the set, to use as a fabric sample when I go look at paint chips and ribbon {I really wanted to do a chair rail in the nursery, and then found a cool idea on another blog - I am going to use beautiful grosgrain ribbon on the wall to create the line I want, and since it goes on with liquid starch, I can remove it easily later on if I want to change anything}.  I got really excited last night when I found the exact same bedding set on Target.com, because I have a Target gift card that I can use to buy the window valance!

So, I left the vampire's lair - I mean LAB - to go find my new valance at Target.  Imagine my disappointment when I arrived at Target and learned that they don't carry that bedding set IN the store, it is online only.  So I made plans to go later in the day to the actual store where I am registered, willing to just pay cash for this little curtain, just so I won't have to WAIT for it to be shipped.

I had to kind of rush home to meet my sister and her kids, who were coming over to get a look at little Thomas' ultrasound pictures from the other day.  Her kids are 2 and 4, and are SO adorable!  We got to chat and visit a little, and I showed her my ideas for the baby's room.  She already has her nursery basically DONE, since her 2 year old is going to simply move to the guest room and her new little one (due right before mine) will inherit the nursery.  I even got inspired and started pulling bags of baby clothes out of the closet to sort through and see what (if anything) I will really need to BUY for Thomas.  I've had those clothes in there for awhile, and was putting off going through them until we knew if we were having a boy or a girl, so I am excited to finally be going through all this adorable stuff - some dating as far back as my own 10 year old.  Oooooh, the memories that brings out!  I love hand-me-down baby clothes anyway, because they grow so fast it is just a total WASTE of money to buy new baby clothes.

After my sister left, I loaded up all the empty recyclable bottles and cans to turn in for my 'refund' (here in CA you pay the redemption value like a tax whenever you buy soda, bottled water, etc and the only way to get it back is to actually RECYCLE everything).  Another looooong line at the recycling center, YAY.  I don't want to go off on too much of a tangent here, but this is a major pet peeve of mine: the recycle centers are few and far between, and with VERY limited hours, so there is always a LONG LINE.  They force us to recycle, then they make it nearly impossible!  Seriously, the center I go to is only open from 10:30 to 4:00 with a half hour closure for lunch, and only 5 days a week!  Anyway, sorry, that's enough of that rant.

Recycling done, I headed to the baby store to buy my curtain, only to find out that THEY also only carry it online.  I debated changing my registry, choosing a bedding set from the in-store patterns, but already can picture the nursery all done, with the grosgrain ribbon and everything.....so I went home, all bummed.  I ordered it online, so now I have to wait 7 to 10 days for the curtain to even arrive.  I hate waiting almost as much as I hate needles.  But wait I will, because this bedding is PERFECT.  And THEN I can go look at *NEW* paint and *NEW* ribbon, and maybe some other *NEW* things for my new baby.

Sucker-punch myself? No, thanks.

This morning I got up at 4 AM to make hubby breakfast before he headed out for the week.  I always have trouble going back to sleep when I do this, but I still tried.  This time, part of what kept me awake was a series of thoughts about how we, as women (and especially as mothers) tend to BEAT OURSELVES UP over stupid stuff.

Specifically, this morning, my thoughts ran to all the moms who agonize over things like breastfeeding vs. bottle feeding, and epidurals vs. natural birth, etc.  Of course these choices MATTER, but not as much as some folks seem to think they do.  And they are CHOICES, right?

I found myself getting kind of mad remembering a former friend of mine, who is a La Leche League Leader, and obviously very pro-breastfeeding and pro-natural birth.  I actually believe pretty strongly in those things, too, but am not as willing as she always was to IMPOSE my beliefs on others.  I have no problem expressing my own beliefs, but it has never been my place to tell others what they should do - or to make them feel BAD for making a different choice than I would have made. 

This brought me to thoughts of my sister, who is also pregnant right now.  She is due with her 3rd baby just a week and a half before my 4th is due.  With both of her deliveries she had an epidural, and had no problems or complications with this, so its a no-brainer for her to plan for the same thing this time.  And I have no problem with her choice, as it clearly WORKS for her and her family, right?  What I do have a problem with is the way she - and other moms like her - will be careful about who she shares this information with, for fear of being judged. 

Another blogger recently posted about her childbirth class, and how relieved she felt when all the other moms in the class raised their hands when asked who was planning to have an epidural at the hospital.  I'm glad she feels better about her choice now, but it still makes me sad knowing how badly we all NEED reassurance like that.  I can't even count how many times I have felt the same way, but I really SHOULDN'T need anyone else to validate my own choices, right?

Why do we do this?  We are strong, smart, compassionate, AMAZING creatures, and yet we don't have the confidence to simply MAKE a choice and stick by it.

I'm going to do everything I can to stop second-guessing myself, and brush off fears of being judged by others over the choices that I make for MY own family. 

Yes, I want what's best for my children (don't we all?)  But I have to rest easy, knowing that only I can really KNOW what is best for my own family. 

Starting with making the choice to go take a nice long NAP to make up for this morning's lost sleep.

I'm too tired to beat myself up today, anyway.

Frogs and snails and puppy-dog tails

ITS A BOY!

The suspense is finally over, and I am beyond thrilled to be having another boy. Well, maybe 10% sad that its not a girl, but 90% relieved! I had a falling-out with my only daughter 2 years ago (she is almost 20 and still does not speak to me) and it really did a number on my self-esteem. I had to wonder, do I even have what it takes to raise girls? So now, at least that's not a worry anymore.

And I do love raising boys. My sons are 15 and 10, and are also thrilled to have a little brother on the way to pass down all of their Nerf guns to - see my post from my other blog for more about this #links

So, our newest dilemma is to settle on a middle name.  We know his first name is Thomas, but we have to choose between 4 possible middle names.....and hubby is being very indecisive right now. *sigh*

Well at least now I get to go out and look for cute baby boy things, and start decorating the nursery.  YAY!
And now I don't have to call him "IT" anymore!

Today is the day.....

In just a few hours, I get to find out if this baby is a boy or a girl.....I am still thinking GIRL, but I'm not 100% confident in that.

We will see.

So, in the next 5 or 6 hours sometime, I will post on here (and facebook, and mass text) with pictures and the baby's gender.

Still wondering WHY I am so impatient this time?

I JUST CAN'T WAIT!

its a.......

I will find out this Saturday whether I am having a GIRL or a BOY. 

I am BEYOND excited to finally find this out, and just for fun I want to know, what do YOU think I am having?

Sorry, there's no prize for being a winner here, just bragging rights.

Post a comment here with your vote, and in about 48 hours I will post the BIG NEWS (and hopefully some 3D ultrasound pictures)

Apple pie a-la-mode

My morning-sickness seems to be completely gone, but has been replaced by some unusual cravings.  I don't normally even LIKE apple pie, even if served with a mountain of ice cream, but today I enjoyed a slice....with a little cold mountain....for the third time this week! I picked up a store-bought apple pie for our dessert for Easter, and have been happily chipping away at the leftovers.

My other cravings have been for bagels with cream cheese and strawberry jam (but only if I can have some pulp-free orange juice with it) and for almost ANYTHING salty.  I can't believe I am not piling on the pounds eating all this CRAP!  Well, I am walking a lot more, so I'm burning more calories, and aside from weird cravings, I am eating WAY healthier than I used to.  I really do miss caffeine, but I will survive without it.  My bagels are now those cool 'bagelthins' so less carbs, less calories, and then I use less cream cheese and jam....that's gotta be helping, right?  Popcorn is satisfying my salt cravings pretty well, so I guess I just need to keep doing what I'm doing.

My O.B. says I really don't need to gain ANY weight with this pregnancy, since I am already 100 lbs overweight.  I've never actually heard this before, but I was never this overweight with my other pregnancies.
At least this apple pie is almost gone, hopefully I won't WANT it anymore if I don't have it in the house.  Hopefully.

Award! Show some blog love

Thank you so much Nicole, from flipflopcombatboots for sending me this Beautiful Blogger award!

Rules of the award are to say 'thank you' and list seven things about yourself, so here you go:

1) I read for pleasure, and it makes me sad to realize how unusual this is today.

2) My favorite thing to bake is my 'ultimate' brownies, but ever since I got pregnant I don't really want to eat them anymore.....in fact I rarely even want chocolate now!

3) I spend as much time being naked as I can get away with, even when I am not pregnant (I'm not a nudist, I just have a hard time getting comfortable with clothes diggin into me, or twisting around me, etc.)

4) I own a truly disgusting amount of stamping and scrapping stuff, and barely ever use it anymore

5) The only person I know who can beat me at "80s name that tune" is my 15 year old son.

6) After over 30 years of 'bad hair days' I figured out that I am actually blessed with GREAT hair, as long as I blow-dry it with a good dryer - no styling products needed for a good hair day!

7) My kids think I am way smarter than I actually am, and my husband thinks I am way dumber than I've ever been (or ever could be).  LOL

And now I would like to give this award to:

1.Expat Girl from The Sand is Different Here

2.Julie from Julie The Army Wife

3.Birdie from Soldier's Lady

4.Renee at Waiting to Exhale

5.Cheryl at My Air Force Journey

6.Gretchen from the G Spot

7.Kasey at Awful Beautiful Life

(now you ladies can all share 7 things about yourselves on your own blog!)

sleep (have you heard of it?)

My normal sleep needs are the same as everyone else's - on any given day I just need 5 minutes more.  Preferably in the mornings, since I am by nature a night person.  I generally can't fall asleep before midnight at the earliest, and some nights it is MUCH MUCH later than this. (like last night, fell asleep around 3 AM)

Insomnia sucks, especially during pregnancy.  Can't take any sleep meds, can't even enjoy a nice relaxing HOT bath before bed.  But at least I can make up for it by sleeping in, right?

Wrong.

This baby is going to be a MORNING PERSON. (don't mind that noise, it's just me screaming in pure terror)

I wake up between 4 and 6 most mornings, and can't go back to sleep.  Thanks, baby. Mommy really REALLY appreciates it.

So now I take naps, pretty much daily.  Some days are better than others, but if I don't get my nap, it's like PMS....x10  Being the only girl in the house, PMS is kind of my excuse for everything - or now I just blame pregnancy hormones.

I still keep going back and forth between whether I hope this is a boy or a girl, but I think right now I am leaning toward GIRL again.  I think.  I don't know, I will find out either way in just a few days!  I should have some cool 3D ultrasound pics to post before next week, too. 

And I'm hoping he or she lets me get some rest in the meantime!

crying is NOT sexy

I have suddenly (like in the last 48 hours) reached the point in pregnancy where I feel FAT and UGLY.  The new acne breakouts are really not helping at all.

And now these crazy violent moodswings - I cry over something stupid, and then laugh at myself for crying about THAT....and moments later I find myself crying again!

For example, today when I went to the bathroom for like the 200th time, I finished peeing and went to reach for the toilet paper.  Spun the roll to find the end....spun it again....and one more spin, but NO end came around the roll.  I was frustrated, then MAD when I realized that the roll had recently been changed, and whoever did it (probably my hubby) had put it on BACKWARD - so every spin just dumped more toilet paper on the floor instead of bringing the end of the roll around to the top. *exasperated sigh* followed by quick wipe, and then suddenly my eyes overflowed and I could NOT stop crying over how anyone could be so INSENSITIVE as to put the toilet paper roll on backwards.  And as I sat there on the toilet BAWLING, I already knew this was not something worth crying over (in my pre-pregnant life) and still could not stop the tears.

That was not the first crying jag of the day, and not the last - so in addition to feeling fat, ugly, and pimply, I now have puffy red eyes and a perpetually runny nose.  So completely NOT sexy!